Deep (Luna's Story Book 3) Read online

  “Who us? Need to talk? No, um, but I do need to go see Roscoe about something.” And with that Chickadee stalked out of the house.

  _____________________

  Part II

  The Deep

  Chapter 26

  Luna shoved her shoulder against the barn door, her arms full of trays of eggs. She spun around and — whoa — “Beckett?”

  “Yeah?” He tucked a pencil behind his ear.

  She deposited the tray on a shelf and leaned there, eyes squinted, looking him up and down. “You're in the middle of the barn wearing a tool belt. That is so hot.”

  Beckett looked down. “You think so? I mean I do have pants on too.”

  “Yep, pants, shirt, tool belt, pencil behind the ear, are you building something? Please be building something so I can watch. Hopefully, you aren't just standing here waiting for me to walk in. This is all new and oh so unexpected.” She grinned.

  “It is my house, I fix things. It's my tool belt.”

  “That makes sense, but when you were coming home, I could only imagine you coming through the door. Maybe in bed. Possibly leaning over the porch railing. The rest of the stuff, you actually working on the farm, building things, that's awesome. If I had known this, I would have gotten you out of bed days ago.”

  He grinned. “I could still use another day of sleep, but — have you noticed Chickadee is hiding something?”

  “Is she? I hadn't noticed.” She kicked off one of her rain boots with a grunt and tossed it to the side. “She seems the way she always does.” She shoved off the other boot. “But then who can pay that much attention when Beckett is home and wearing a tool belt, like you are.”

  Beckett watched in amazement as Luna wiggled down her yoga pants and kicked them off. His eyes went wide. “What's this?”

  She walked right up to him. “Me. Hormonal. You, hot. And all that.” She grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him toward her for a kiss. “Your mouth feel better?”

  “Much. And—” He wrapped his arms around her, lifted her off the ground, and carried her to the worktable. With one arm he shoved the assorted tools to the side, but seeing that there was sawdust everywhere, said, “Wait, just a minute,” and put her down. He grabbed a towel and hurriedly swept the dust and splinters off the table and tossed the towel over his shoulder with a grin. “Okay now.” He lifted her to the tool table. Luna worked on the top button of his pants and pushed them down from his body.

  “And what?”

  He kissed down her cheek to her ear. “And what, what?”

  She giggled. “You said, 'Much, and...'”

  His hands rubbed down her thigh pulling it up to his hip. “Was I saying something? You took your pants off earlier and—”

  He unbuckled the tool belt, dropping it to the hay at his feet. “Sorry, that would be entirely ridiculous to wear during this.” He kissed down her neck.

  “I'm still wearing my raincoat.” She was leaned back on her arms, big raincoat hiding the top half of her body, naked thighs wrapped around his body, pulling him closer.

  He laughed. “Yep, you took off your pants before you took off your raincoat. Truly one of the most epic things about you.”

  “Really now? I'm a paddleboarder. I can travel for really long distances, and you're saying I'm epic because I took my pants off before my raincoat?” She hooked her feet behind his hips and teased him even closer, giggling.

  “Right now it's easily one of the top three, but you know I can't count when you're—”

  “When I'm what?” She rocked her hips against him.

  “When — you—” He kissed the corner of her smiling lips and rushed to close the space between them. With his head tucked into her rubber-covered shoulder, her legs wrapped around, they moved and rocked and pushed, until he rose up, dazed, out of his head, bothered by the foreign smell of her raincoat — he unbuttoned the front and shoved it open and folded in on her now-uncovered body. Pulling her hips up and closer. His pushing became harder more desperate. He said, “Hold me.”

  She held on tighter around his shoulders.

  “Hold me,” he said again as he rocked and pushed against her body.

  “I have you. It's okay,” she said into his ear. “I have you.”

  His cheek rubbed against hers. “Don't let me go.”

  “I won't. I promise, Beckett. I promise.”

  He pushed into her more relentlessly, until finally at least he ended, and the pause was long, they stayed connected. His breathing ragged. Finally he kissed the soft place in front of her ear.

  She stroked down his cheek and looked in his eyes. “You okay?”

  “I was splintering apart.”

  “Oh Beckett how did we get from raincoats and tool belts to there?”

  His body was heavy on her chest, his mouth on her shoulder, he shook his head. “I don't know. I think it was the nightmares I've been having, you know?”

  She rubbed a soothing palm down the length of his back. “I know. Every night since you've been home.”

  “In them you're gone, or you're broken, or pieces, and I'm trying to hold you all together.” His breathing was heavy. “In one I'm carrying you, like when I found you on the island after the storm, but your body is sand and you're sifting from my arms and I'm trying to hold you in one piece.”

  “So it's me that was splintering?”

  He nodded quietly. “It was intense.”

  She rubbed her hands down his back and pulled him in tighter to her body. “I'm not splintering, you make me whole.”

  He kissed her slowly. “Good, because I mean to take care of you Luna, to keep you safe. No matter what.”

  “I know you do. You will.”

  “I will.” He nodded looking into her eyes.

  “Beckett, I hate to mention it, but your dream is actually becoming real—”

  “What?”

  She smiled up at him. “I think I may have a splinter in my ass.”

  “Oh, yeah, this is crazy uncomfortable.” He straightened up, gave her a hand to pull her to sitting, and lifted her to the ground. “Though I'll admit I've never liked the barn this much in my life.”

  Luna said, “Me too. I love you. I can't believe you're home, and we can do this whenever—” Tears welled up in her eyes. She sobbed and then laughed, “There they are, the pregnancy moods.”

  He kissed her cheekbone tasting the salt. “I love you too. We should still get married.”

  She smiled. “Am I not bonking you enough?”

  He laughed, picked up her hand, and kissed the knuckles.

  “Your paddleboards look great, you patched them beautifully.” He gestured to the wall where Luna's paddleboard and trailing paddleboard were freshly fixed and leaning.

  “I patched Steve, there were some big dings from the storage. Boosy had to be reinforced, then re-glassed. Chickadee got me the materials from Heighton Port. I fixed the paddle too, but you saw that hanging on the wall of my room. I borrowed your tools.”

  “Did you wear my tool belt? Now that is hot.” He kissed the tip of her nose.

  “I couldn't, too round in the middle to hold it up. Sorry to ruin your fantasy. I have a lot of materials left over, so I was thinking I could make some boards. Dan wants one, and Rebecca.”

  Beckett pulled up his jeans, zipped them, and tossed Luna her pants. “Excellent idea. They want us to dinner, maybe this week?”

  “I'd love that, I haven't gone anywhere in like forever.”

  Beckett's head jerked back, “Really? Why not?”

  “We just figured it would be better. To wait.”

  “To hide you away? Whose idea was that?”

  “I don't know, all of us, mine, without you here it felt weird to be pregnant at the grocery store, so I just didn't go.” She wiggled into her pants.

  “So today I'm patching the roof. Tonight we're having a family dinner because I have to get to the bottom of this Chickadee business. And tomorrow we're going out. Everywhere.”
/>
  “By motorcycle? Please let it be by motorcycle.” Her grin was wide.

  Chapter 27

  Beckett took a big bite full of chicken curry, the green kind, his favorite. He chewed it, smiled around the table, and very casually said, “So Chickadee, let me see your list.”

  “What list?”

  “The list of things you need to talk to me about. There must be things going on. You met with Roscoe—”

  Chickadee's eyes cut to Luna, “It's nothing, I'll handle it.”

  Beckett placed his napkin on the table and said, “As the man of the house—”

  Chickadee countered with, “Holy crap, don't go pulling that bullshit with me. You'll start sounding like your Uncle Jimmy, and then we'll have nothing but mayhem and chaos.”

  Beckett laughed and put up his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, let me start again. Chickadee, I'm home now. You've been taking care of me and the house for so long, but I'm home, I'm an adult, and I am in love, and I'm ready to hear the big things. I can take some of the weight off your shoulders.” He smiled sweetly and batted his eyes. “Even though I know you're capable of doing it all.”

  Chickadee said, “It really is nothing, let's talk about something else.”

  Beckett said, “Okay, maybe you and Dilly can both weigh in on this, I asked Luna to marry me, and she said,” his voice rose to a falsetto, “'that sounds like too much trouble.’”

  Dilly clapped her hands, squealed, and grasped Luna's hand. “Trouble? No trouble at all, I can do everything, Luna. We can throw a big wedding in the garden, with lights and...” Her voice trailed off.

  Beckett was watching Chickadee Intently. “What do you think Chickadee, big wedding in the garden?”

  Chickadee said, “I think Luna is right, we should keep the trouble down to a minimum and—”

  Beckett leaned forward. “Now you have to tell me. I can handle it. Let me know.”

  Chickadee scowled. “Dryden is causing trouble.” She glanced around the table. “We should talk this over in private.”

  Beckett leaned back in his chair. “Dryden? What do you mean? What could she—”

  Luna said, “I can go. I need to take Shark for a walk anyway, it's fine.” She carried her dishes to the sink.

  Beckett wanted to tell her not to go, but he was having trouble coming up with the words because his brain was whirring through possible explanations. What could Dryden want with him?

  Dilly said, “Luna I'll come with you to let Beckett and Chickie talk.”

  They both left the room and Beckett stared dumbfounded at Chickadee. “What the hell?”

  Chickadee sighed, pulled a stack of papers from a pile near her laptop, and placed them on the table with a smack. She banged her hand down on top.

  “When you were missing I went to see Dryden and her family to ask if they had heard from you.”

  “Why would—”

  “Dryden told Luna that you were communicating with her, and that you had never mentioned Luna. I knew it was bullshit, but also, I couldn't think of what else to do.”

  Beckett ran his hand over his head through his scraggly hair. “She said that? Luna must have been frantic.”

  “Dilly and I did the best we could, but you know, and that's not the worst of it.”

  “But wait, doesn't Dryden have a guy, what's his name, the Conner kid?”

  “Joshua Conner died, front lines in the East, about three months before you were sent to the Outpost.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah, oh.”

  “Dryden thinks she can have me back?”

  “It's worse than that my dear. She has a contract.”

  Beckett shook his head as if in a daze. “What are you talking about Chickadee?”

  “Now I want you to stay calm. Deep breaths, okay? We're going to work through this.”

  “Chickadee.”

  “When I went there to ask if they knew anything from you, Dryden's mother said that it was strange they hadn't heard from you since you and Dryden were going to be married. I told her that was a perfectly piece-of-horseshit thing to say and she said there was a contract, to wed you two, but also, and perhaps more complicated, because Luna is right, marriage is complicated — giving most of your everything to that asinine family.”

  Beckett continued to shake his head. “A contract? What contract? I never signed a contract, what?”

  “Consider it your Uncle Jimmy's farewell fuck you.”

  Beckett dropped his forehead to the table top and banged it there a couple of times. “Uncle Jimmy?”

  “I can only assume he was out of his head at the time.”

  “But this is my house, my land—Luna.”

  “I know. Aunt Chickadee is trying to figure it out. That's why Roscoe is involved.”

  “Dryden wants half of everything?”

  “Plus you.”

  Beckett pressed his thumbs to his lips thinking. “I need to go talk to her.”

  “We have a meeting set up, me and Roscoe — you, if you feel like it will help, with Dryden, her father, and her lawyer.”

  “So she lawyered up too? I'm going to go talk to her tomorrow.” Beckett stood, shoving his chair back, and made to walk out of the room.

  He came back a half second later. “If I hadn't asked, when were you planning to tell me that I was supposed to marry Dryden?”

  “I thought I'd go to the meeting first, then explain it.”

  “Now see Chickadee, this is exactly it, the problem. I'm twenty-two years old. This is my house, my land. I want to marry Luna, and I'm going to have a child. You have to stop protecting me from bad news.”

  “But you know how you get dear.”

  “I know. I panic. I do stupid shit. But I'm trying to be better. Luna makes me better. Let me try that's all I ask.” He started to leave then turned again. “What if we started hiding things from you because you sink sometimes? You would hate it because it's not fair.”

  Chickadee nodded. “I want to take care of you, that's all I've ever done.”

  Beckett slid down into the seat beside Chickadee, threw an arm around her shoulders and held her hand with the other. He kissed her cheek. “I know Chickadee. I love you. Thank you for handling this and everything. I want to come to the meeting. And I'm going to talk to Dryden, maybe we won't need a meeting at all. I'm sure once I explain she'll see.”

  _____________________

  That night, after piling on the couch and watching Chickadee's shows, including one that her friend Peter had produced, and laughing uproariously, Luna and Beckett brushed their teeth side by side in front of the bathroom mirror, put on pajamas, and climbed into bed together. They still slept in Luna's room, having decided that they liked it best.

  Luna curled up under Beckett's arm. “Love, is there anything you need to talk to me about?”

  Beckett considered for a second. He had been going over and over this all night. Should he tell Luna about Dryden? No, because she would worry, and he was going to fix it all tomorrow, anyway. But also, that was exactly like Chickadee, and so yes, he would tell her. And then at times he thought, “Why should I? She doesn't want to marry me, she hasn't a legal right to worry or know,” and then he told himself that he was an asshole, that Luna was having his baby, and the baby would inherit all of this whether Luna married him or not and then...

  But then he looked down into Luna's eyes, and she looked up at him, and he forgot all the arguments against telling her. “I've been thinking about distance tonight. How someone can be right here, but also distant. Like on the Outpost, when you were paddling away, all I could do was try to grab your board to keep you there, but I didn't know why. Why anything. Why you were leaving. Why I wanted you to stay. Why it was all so important, like forever important. Because we didn't tell each other anything, not really, and you left anyway.” He pushed a piece of her loose hair behind her ear.

  “You broke my heart when I saw you paddling the wrong way. And I didn't know why. You had been r
ight there, but there was this huge distance between us.”

  Luna twirled her fingers, tracing circles on his chest. “Sometimes I think it's easier to communicate through the Monarch Constellation than up close.”

  Beckett pulled her chin up to look in her face. “Exactly love. It's hard to tell each other things face to face. Because it's easier to keep it secret and not cause pain. But also, knowing that distance is there, is too painful. So it's time to start facing each other. Telling the truth. You know?”

  Luna nodded. Tears were eddying on the side of her nose spilling over onto his chest.

  He said, “I have to tell you about something, but I want you to know I have this all under control—God, I sound just like Chickadee.”

  Luna laugh sobbed. “You do, you really do.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “I'm going to try to sound like Beckett instead, here goes — Luna, you've met Dryden?”

  Luna's head shot up. She scrutinized his face. “Yes, I met her at the poetry slam.”

  “She seems to believe that she and I are going to be married. That she's got a contract. That she is part owner of my land.”

  Luna watched his face and couldn't think of a thing to say except, “Oh.”

  “Chickadee has involved Roscoe. This shouldn't be any problem for him, but while it gets sorted out, I think Dryden is going to be talked about a lot, and I want you to know that there's nothing for you to worry about.”

  Luna tucked her head back down to his chest. “She's in the photo on your dresser in your room.”

  “Oh, yeah, right. I haven't even gone in there since I got home. In the morning I'll clean up. Maybe we can turn my old room into the nursery.”

  Luna raised her head again. “We don't need a nursery, the baby is going to sleep right here.”

  Beckett looked down at the space between them, full of Luna's rounded tummy. He placed his hand on her stomach to feel again the now almost familiar pitch and roll.

  Beckett smiled as the baby kicked. “